My arm ached as I held it out in front of me. The pain in my head, a demolition of memories from long ago, urged me on. This would be the turning point in my life. This would be the time when I took control.
Who would have thought it? Little Johnny who used to hide under his desk after school to save getting bullied. Little Johnny who was always dressed in second-hand rags. Little Johnny who wore the welts and bruises of the beatings at home, for being so useless. Little Johnny who is now in the position to take control of his life, if he can remain strong.
Even the sky looked different today. It was steel grey and the distant buildings stood tall and strong against it, giving me strength. Would I be able to follow through, or was I as useless as I had been brought up to believe?
I stood up straight, gaining strength from the buildings, my arm stiffening once again. Everything was surreal, the situation I was in, the trees, the buildings, the light. Past memories began to turn in my mind. Faster and faster they spun until they became a whirlpool of all the abuse and degradation of what had once been my life. Would I accept this as my future as well, or would I now at last be able to hold my head high and have the respect of my peers? No, I would not accept it as my future. This no, was not the same as the one I used to whimper as a child. This time I meant NO!
At that point I knew that I could do it and as I pulled the trigger and saw him fall to the ground, I realized that I had at last become a man.