UNTITLED
My arm ached as I held it out in front of me. The pain in my head, a demolition of memories
from long ago, urged me on. This would
be the turning point in my life. This
would be the time when I took control.
Who would have thought it? Little Johnny who used to hide under his desk
after school to save getting bullied.
Little Johnny who was always dressed in second-hand rags. Little Johnny who wore the welts and bruises
of the beatings at home, for being so useless.
Little Johnny who is now in the position to take control of his life, if
he can remain strong.
Even the sky looked different today. It was steel grey and the distant buildings
stood tall and strong against it, giving me strength. Would I be able to follow through, or was I
as useless as I had been brought up to believe?
I stood up straight, gaining strength from the buildings,
my arm stiffening once again. Everything
was surreal, the situation I was in, the trees, the buildings, the light. Past memories began to turn in my mind. Faster and faster they spun until they became
a whirlpool of all the abuse and degradation of what had once been my
life. Would I accept this as my future
as well, or would I now at last be able to hold my head high and have the
respect of my peers? No, I would not
accept it as my future. This no, was not
the same as the one I used to whimper as a child. This time I meant NO!
At that point I knew that I could do it and as I pulled
the trigger and saw him fall to the ground, I realized that I had at last
become a man.
